GRUDGE PUNK
"Bodies of rotting wood and metal. Polystyrene breasts fixed with copper wire. Mold and mildew between their legs giving you something to plow, rusting handles on their hips to grip as you go at it, and pipes jutting from their temples belching sulfur monoxide into your face the whole time. Those are the women of the Grudge."
- 'In The Flesh' (GRUDGE PUNK)
"Bodies of rotting wood and metal. Polystyrene breasts fixed with copper wire. Mold and mildew between their legs giving you something to plow, rusting handles on their hips to grip as you go at it, and pipes jutting from their temples belching sulfur monoxide into your face the whole time. Those are the women of the Grudge."
- 'In The Flesh' (GRUDGE PUNK)
Grudgehaven (or 'The Grudge', to the locals) is a city lost to the darkness, existing in a world only slightly removed from our own. A place where men and women are composites of rusting metal and cracked plastic, creaking wood and mucus, filling out pin-striped suits and ballgowns. Walking, talking assemblages of trash, they live their lives in a city contorted by ugliness, violence and the bizarre.
​
Heavily inspired by the pulp detective fiction and film noir of the 1940s, churned through the prisms of dieselpunk, horror and bizarro, 'GrudgePunk' is a catch-all term for the stories of brutality and betrayal set in the city's dimly-lit alleyways.
​
The first was 'In The Flesh', in which granite detective Bailey is hired by psychotic gangster Clockwork Joe to locate something unspeakably rare, unbelievably beautiful and priceless - a human woman.
Bailey's journey leads him south, to the city's Old Town, a mysterious hotel made of human flesh and a date with his own destiny.
'In The Flesh' was first published in 'Tall Tales With Short Cocks Vol 1', an anthology from Bizarro Press.
"Brick tenements shot up at odd angles from the cobbled streets, their walls pocked with dark masses of writhing slugs. There was nothing to do about the slugs between the rains. They just slithered out of the drains and up the sides of the buildings by the thousands, and Rhino could only marvel at how high they made it - and how quickly - before the next acid rainfall reduced their bodies to bubbling sludge and washed them all away. When dry weather returned, another million slugs would emerge to begin their march up the walls. So it went, on and on forever."
- 'A Hand Walks Into a Bar' (GRUDGE PUNK)
The second story to be set in the Grudge, 'A Hand Walks Into a Bar' was commissioned for the second volume of 'Tall Tales With Short Cocks', published by Bizarro Press.
​
Intellectuals will probably be able to guess how it begins, but for anyone in doubt, the story kicks off when a severed hand wanders into a bar, drawing the attention of grizzled gun-for-hire Rhino.
​
Believing he recognises the hand, Rhino lets it lead him off into the night, where an adventure involving smashed automobiles, bickering kidnappers, a platinum-plated pimp and a whole lot of makeup awaits.
​
Both 'In The Flesh' and 'A Hand Walks Into a Bar' were collected in 'Grudge Punk', along with seven other inter-connected tales:
​
- 'Gutter Politics'
- 'Down to the Bones'
- 'The Corridors of Power'
- 'A Real Piece of Work'
- 'One Parasite to Another'
- 'Gods of the Damned'
- 'All the Wrong Parts'
On a dark stretch of rain-lashed highway there's a crooked, hand-scrawled road-sign that reads:
​
"You are now entering the Grudge. Only fools come clean."
"Grudge Punk will exceed your expectations."
- Vincenzo Bilof, author of 'The Violators'
​
" I don't think love is a strong enough word for how I feel about this book."
- THe GaL iN THe BLue MaSK
"A rich and fascinating world."
- Pop Mythology
"The perfect blend of science fiction, fantasy and horror that manages to be none of those things."
- Gregor Xane, author of 'Taboogasm'
"The setting is one of the true joys of this collection, a character unto itself; each story adds another dimension to Grudgehaven."
- Monster Librarian
​
"Delicious strangeness to boggle the mind and overwhelm the senses."
- Albedo One
"I can say with no equivocation that this is an excellent book."
- Odd Things Considered
"The Grudge could be a very dangerous place for the lonely housewife. So few stories had happy endings that began with a woman allowing a strange man to enter her home. You either had to be very sure of his good intentions or absolutely certain you could overpower him."
- 'A Fat Lot of Bad' (TALL TALES WITH SHORT COCKS VOL. 4)
Set only a short time after the events which conclude 'Grudge Punk', 'A Fat Lot of Bad' is one of a number of short stories intended to bridge the gap between that book and its sequel, 'Petroleum Precinct'.
A venture into the little-seen suburbs of Grudgehaven, 'A Fat Lot of Bad' is a story about stains, schemes and salesmen emphasising the point that in the Grudge, nothing is ever quite what it seems.
​
Mrs Pennypacker is a proud housewife who leaks transmission fluid from her calves. Wally is a vacuum salesman with an irresistable offer to make. And Lester? Lester's a conman with a very special gift.
All three will set foot in the Pennypacker house. But who will walk back out? And will anyone be able to recognise them when they do?
Featuring an appearance from one of the most memorable characters from 'Grudge Punk', 'A Fat Lot of Bad' is a key piece in the puzzle that forms a backdrop to 'Petroleum Precinct'.
It was published in 'Tall Tales With Short Cock Vol. 4', an anthology also featuring stories from Danger Slater, Casper Kelly, Douglas Hackle, Bradley Sands, Jessica McHugh and others.
"Chupatown, a five-mile stretch of ragged hell, was south enough and west enough - amputated from the main body of the city by Fester's River - that most modern maps of Grudgehaven could afford to leave it off without anyone noticing. Not that it mattered. Nobody went to Chupatown anyway. Nobody with a brain in their head. Nobody who didn't have a death wish. It looked like a scar on the Commissioner's map. Or a ruined grin."
- PETROLEUM PRECINCT: GRUDGE PUNK 2
'Petroleum Precinct' is a direct sequel to 'Grudge Punk' and a full-blown novel. It's also the first bona-fide 'Grudge Punk' EPIC. Finishing up at around 430 pages this is a big story, detailing the efforts of the Grudgehaven Police Department to re-establish themselves as THE dominant force in the Grudge.
After too many years doing the bidding of gangsters, they're aiming to remind citizens that there is such a thing as truth and justice in the world, even when it's the greasy, smoke-stained world of the Grudge.
At the head of this revolution is Lieutenant Sternhammer, 600 pounds of lead weight in a ragged trenchcoat. With a hand-chosen team of iron-willed detectives, he's reopening a mothballed precinct and setting out to take down the up-and-coming crime boss Chupa Junior.
Between headless jazz musicians, duplicitous pimps and serial killers, he may not find it such an easy task. And if the GPD thinks the Grudge is just going to roll over and start playing law-abiding, obedient and sane, they've got another thing coming.
THE KING OF EYES IS DEAD. LONG LIVE THE KING.